Second Chances and Grace

Midlife has taught me that transformation isn't linear, forgiveness isn't finite, and grace—extended to self and others—might be the most radical act available.

What Changed

Around my late 40's, several things converged:

ADHD diagnosis
Career transitions
Realizing I'd spent decades performing rather than being
Understanding that authenticity requires vulnerability

I'd been living on "borrowed time"—succeeding by white-knuckling through neurotypical systems, hiding struggles, optimizing for external validation.

Something had to give.

The Grace Framework

For Self

Old pattern: Punish myself for not being "normal"

New pattern: Recognize systems weren't built for my brain; my brain isn't broken

For Others

Old pattern: Judge people's failures harshly (because I judged my own)

New pattern: Remember everyone is fighting battles I can't see

For Systems

Old pattern: Blame myself when systems fail me

New pattern: Question the systems; build better ones (see: sustainability thinking)

Marie Forleo's Influence

Her philosophy Everything is Figureoutable arrived at exactly the right moment. Not as toxic positivity, but as radical agency:

"I may not know how to solve this yet, but I can learn."

This pairs beautifully with:

Using AI as a learning partner
ADHD's "I don't know what I don't know" challenge
Building resilient systems

What Second Chances Look Like

In relationships: Brandi and I learning new communication patterns

In work: Restructuring how I teach to honor my cognitive style

In public: This digital garden itself—re-emerging into visibility on my own terms

In identity: Shedding the persona of "high-functioning" for the reality of "whole human"

The Alaska Connection

Living in Alaska teaches grace through winter:

Plants that appear dead sprout again in spring
The land forgives nothing but offers everything
Survival requires accepting help
Light returns, always

What I'm Learning

Grace isn't permission to stay stuck. It's permission to:

Start before you're ready
Fail without shame
Ask for help
Build imperfectly
Show up authentically

Questions I'm Sitting With

Can you extend grace to yourself without sliding into complacency?
How do you balance "this is hard for me" with "I'm still responsible"?
What does authentic accountability look like without shame?
How do second chances relate to algorithmic forgiveness?

This note is a work in progress. Like me.